Bel, I know you've been struggling to regain your health. I indeed see parallels in the issues we deal with. And, like you, I've got a bedroom with boxes of supplements that never helped me or helped a little, then turned around and bit me in the ass, LOL. It's possible that the H. Pylori infection might have messed up your gut. I've gone through periods, mostly decades ago, when health and sleep were okay, then, like a biological/metabolic switch turning on or off, it all goes to rubbish, then, weeks or months or in one case, a year, I'd be back to feeling okay. For the past 20 years, its been, to quote the Grateful Dead song, 'Truckin', "a long strange trip". Mental illness is a misnomer. As I said to Vince, it's a whole body illness which sends you down a rabbit hole from which you never seem to emerge.
Regarding testosterone, maybe it's not a panacea but on one level, I seem to better off, physically, than friends in the same age range. One is 75 and he religiously follow his doctor's orders. He's been falling apart for the past three years. I tell him to get his testosterone checked because he has severe incontinence requiring him to wear adult diapers. I explained about the pelvic floor muscle. He doesn't hear what I'm explaining. His urologist tells him he has bladder urgency and prescribes medication. In his sleep, he pisses in his bed(He and his wife sleep separately)and in the morning, he quickly changes the sheets so his wife won't know. My friend is becoming a frail, cranky, debilitated old man. I believe testosterone could reverse some of that, but he's not receptive.
My 'philosophy' as I watch myself just keeping my head above water, is 'balls to the wall'. I can't help my wife. Alzheimer's is taking her and, for me, I'm in a near constant state of anxiety because I know she will get worse, just like her sisters. My job is to keep my boat on an even keel, physically and mentally, the latter being near impossible. The thyroid is involved in so many systems and processes. Right now, taking 2 grains of desiccated thyroid in the evening. Only been a few days but last night and the night before, with a bit of stimulation, achieved solid erections. Can't say if it's the thyroid, alone, or if it's working in concert with the the testosterone in my system but, I'll take any improvement. 30 years ago, when I presented my then psychiatrist with a set of symptoms, which included sudden ED, he said, "It's your thyroid" and prescribed Cytomel. In two days, my erection was back and other symptoms began to abate. That's why I sometimes question if it's just my thyroid/HPTA axis or secondary hypogonadism. They're closely related but the only way to tell would be to go off of T for 2 or 3 months. I'm concerned, though, that my mood will crash. Of course, if it's related to thyroid, my mood should be good with thyroid supplementation. Yeah, I'm a mess; a hot mess.
Being in survival mode is necessary; default mode, actually. If we didn't shift into survival mode, we'd be gone. So that's where you are, I am, and so many other men and women. For some, the medical system has failed them. For others, doctors want to help, even when they're not sure what they're dealing with. But, as I always point out, many of us become our own doctors. We have to. Like you, I'd love to just live and enjoy life the way I used to. That's the prize we have our eyes on.
Mark
www.joinzero.co
testosteronedecline.com
