I am not qualified to diagnose anyone, but I'd strongly recommend anyone to see a professional before starting to mess with hormones. A good psychologist or psychiatrist can be a great help.for what it’s worth, you sound like you’re on a roller coaster of emotion and all over the place . I’d diagnose you with general anxiety disorder and say half of your libido problems are mental. keep in mind you can be actually unaware of this consciously, so don’t deny it because you think it isn’t a problem.
My own doc knows all about my TRT, and my little experimentations beyond that, and helps me go into that with a clear head.