Like you, I took something similar for a while in college, propecia. Within a week of taking it my erections went to shit, they really haven’t been 100% ever again for the last 20 years. I also had my first panic attack after taking it and have had off and on issues with anxiety since then. Now I have issues and have been to many doctors, but the good news is I think you can get good results.
I think your symptoms and labs do confirm something is off and it could easily be related to the medication you took, PFS and all of that.
My total T was also similar to yours when I started TRT with Dr. Crisler in my mid to late 20’s.
The good news is that while I am not 100% (and don’t think I will ever be, nor do I think ANY human is 100%) I still have had more positives in my life than negatives. I‘ve had far more positive windows of good mental, sexual, and overall health, but I do have windows of crap too.
My advice is to try what you think will work.
Defy is a quality provider and are very safe in their approach, they won’t try to get you juiced to the gills and take your money from you. That being said, maybe wait before starting TRT since you are young and have great production.
The biggest advice I can give you is stay away from the PFS boards, they are toxic for your mental health and spirit. Similar to Lyme’s forums (something I also have) most of the people on there are in bad shape and that hopelessness can really seep into your psyche and prevent you from seeing all the good there is in your life. Those types of forums tend to make people identify with their disease and convince themselves it is the root of every problem they have ever had.
I’m not denying that they don’t have issues caused by the drug, they for sure do, just like you and I do. However I found that when I didn’t spend hours in those types of forums and was open to feeling better, the right treatments and mindset allowed me to live a pretty darn normal life. The gloom and doom tends to overshadow the advice and help and focuses your entire being onto being a helpless victim which in turn makes you feel worse.
There is no doctor with a cure for PFS, it doesn’t exist. I’ve had oddly great success when I’ve been on TRT and a low dose of an SSRI. That combo always seems to give me great erections, stamina, and drive. The big theory behind that is that low dose ssris (especially prozac) tend to raise allopregnenelone in the brain significantly, something that is missing in PFS sufferers. I’m not suggesting an SSRI as a blanket cure, everyone is different and your own intuition and knowledge will help you make informed decisions.
Things that have worked for me:
1. Simple TRT protocol (injections and cream have both worked)
2. SSRI - 5mg of Zoloft, 2.5mg Prozac, or 2.5mg of Lexapro these are pretty much interchangeable.
3. A few rare times I’ve taken a benzo and it too gave me full sexual function on TRT
Things that probably don’t work:
1. Test boosting herbs
2. Super high doses of vitamins and or minerals
My simple theory on PFS is that it kills your gaba. Low gaba makes you nervous and ramps up your sympathetic nervous system, which kills erections and sexual urges. (Who is going to get a boner while running from a saber tooth tiger?). The above things all increase gaba and bring back my parasympathetic nervous system then voila, sex happens. I’m talking like I didn’t have sex for almost a year, took Prozac for two days and then had sex like 5 times in one week. Don’t just try this blindly though, always consult with a dr.
Only try one thing at a time and give it a week or so. Don’t make the mistakes I made and shotgun everything on earth and then have no idea what is helping and hurting.
Sorry for the long post, I just have been in your shoes and feel like this is what I would say to my 22 year old self if I had a Time Machine.