I'm suicidal. Why do I have to go through this?

[Abonicex]

I was talking to a lady friend and I mentioned the high estrogen problem.

She said and you dont take testosterone?

I was like "no" [confused].

I do take TRT and still have high estrogens and feel feminine. I include pic of all the hair I'm losing from my beard and body in my soap.

this made me feel so bad. So ashamed. So fake. So ugly. So fake. Such an impostor. Such a liar. So tired. Such a sham. I want to kill myself.

If it was only this probably i could handle it but why after 12 years of fighting fibromyalgia and in this ridiculous manner. So fucking ridiculous.

No i can't go to therapy. I'm ashamed of telling the therapist i don't have balls.

I hate this.

I'm sorry about posting here... I'm not sure there are many places where people maybe understand. Certainly no one i know irl does.

 

[Fortunate]

I was talking to a girl and I mentioned the high estrogen problem.

She said and you dont take testosterone?

I was like "no" [confused].

I do take TRT and it hasn't helped my libido nor erections that much. i feel so disconnected from everyone. So it's something else.

But this made me feel so bad. So ashamed. So fake. So ugly. So fake. Such an impostor. Such a liar. So tired. Such a sham. I want to kill myself.

If it was only this probably i could handle it but why after 12 years of fighting fibromyalgia and in this ridiculous manner. So fucking ridiculous.

No i can't go to therapy. I'm ashamed of telling the therapist i don't have balls.

I hate this.

I'm sorry about posting here... I'm not sure there are many places where people maybe understand. Certainly no one i know irl does.

I would drive yourself to an inpatient facility right now. Do not delay. You need help.

 

[Systemlord]

You only started TRT 6 weeks ago, it’s going to take some time to dial in and and maybe a couple of months with lifestyle changes to start seeing improvements in sexual function.

Don’t give up, eat healthy and exercise can only speed up recovery.

It can take up to 6 months to start seeing changes in erections, provided you put in the work.

 

[Abonicex]

You only started TRT 6 weeks ago, it’s going to take some time to dial in and and maybe a couple of months with lifestyle changes to start seeing improvements in sexual function.

Don’t give up, eat healthy and exercise can only speed up recovery.

It can take up to 6 months to start seeing changes in erections, provided you put in the work.

It's not only the libido. It's taking TRT itself .... Oh well... I think not many see things like me....

Thank you so much for your reply.


Yes I'm trying to improve everything.

 

[JmarkH]

I don't know where you live, but google a local mental health hotline and call it. Don't wait for later or tomorrow, do it now.

 

[Deleted member 43589]

I was talking to a lady friend and I mentioned the high estrogen problem.

She said and you dont take testosterone?

I was like "no" [confused].

I do take TRT and still have high estrogens and feel feminine. I include pic of all the hair I'm losing from my beard and body in my soap.

this made me feel so bad. So ashamed. So fake. So ugly. So fake. Such an impostor. Such a liar. So tired. Such a sham. I want to kill myself.

If it was only this probably i could handle it but why after 12 years of fighting fibromyalgia and in this ridiculous manner. So fucking ridiculous.

No i can't go to therapy. I'm ashamed of telling the therapist i don't have balls.

I hate this.

I'm sorry about posting here... I'm not sure there are many places where people maybe understand. Certainly no one i know irl does.

If you are experiencing difficult thoughts call
988

 

[tareload]

Suicide Hotline - Mexico - International Bipolar Foundation

Mexico Suicide Hotline: 5255102550

ibpf.org

Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World

Anyone experiencing persistent suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country (below). To find a therapist or support group in your area, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.

www.psychologytoday.com

Please call and speak with someone. Don't mess around with this. You are valued Brother.

 

[DadOfSonNOVA]

BROTHER HANG IN THERE
REMEMBER WE CRUCIFIED JESUS CHRIST
BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
HANG IN THERE

 

[Abonicex]

Suicide Hotline - Mexico - International Bipolar Foundation

Mexico Suicide Hotline: 5255102550

ibpf.org

Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World

Anyone experiencing persistent suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country (below). To find a therapist or support group in your area, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.

www.psychologytoday.com

Please call and speak with someone. Don't mess around with this. You are valued Brother.

Yeah I'll talk to someone. Ty brother.

 

[Abonicex]

BROTHER HANG IN THERE
REMEMBER WE CRUCIFIED JESUS CHRIST
BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
HANG IN THERE

thnak you for your kind comment brother.

 

[Gladiator]

@Abonicex hope you are still with us brother. Reach out in pm if you need a chat.
No judgement from me. As I have been suicidal and tried before.
It’s a really bad place to be

 

[Abonicex]

@Abonicex hope you are still with us brother. Reach out in pm if you need a chat.
No judgement from me. As I have been suicidal and tried before.
It’s a really bad place to be

Ty.

Yes I'll probably pm you bro.

I need to talk to someone who kind of understands...

 

[nippy]

Ty.

Yes I'll probably pm you bro.

I need to talk to someone who kind of understands...

Are u using HCG

 

[Abonicex]

Are u using HCG

no, but i'm going to introduce it soon. hope it helps with my libido and i don't want my testicles to atrophy more than they have already.

 

[nippy]

Ah well hcg made me have suicidal thoughts and feelings

 

[Abonicex]

Ah well hcg made me have suicidal thoughts and feelings

ah at least i won't depend on hcg for those. haha.

 

[DS3]

I personally experience as bad of mental health things as you are describing in your post. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Psychiatric medication is the only thing that will level you at if you are at this stage. Please talk to someone.

 

[tareload]

least i won't depend on hcg for those. haha.

You made me laugh pretty good on that one.
I am with you. I don't need any exogenous add ons to feel those!

 

[Abonicex]

You made me laugh pretty good on that one.
I am with you. I don't need any exogenous add ons to feel those!

at least... how are you btw? i forgot to ask.

if you ever need to talk send me a pm. ty.

 

[Abonicex]

I personally experience as bad of mental health things as you are describing in your post. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Psychiatric medication is the only thing that will level you at if you are at this stage. Please talk to someone.

yes, i'll find someone.

just need to muster the courage to tlak about my problem with others.

i'm actually feeling somewhat better today.

i think it's also my high estrogen messing with my head.

very weird.

ty.