WAS: 5 months post stopping TRT cold turkey bloodwork , NOW: Wife No Longer Wants Sex

[onetwonine]

Hi all,

I have posted here before about my cold turkey journey after ~8 years of exogenous hormone use. I did my first set of blodwork after about 6 weeks of stopping. Just did another set of bloodwork after almost 5 months (143 days) and thought I would update. Unfortunately it looks like my numbers have come in a bit worse than before and worse I would have liked. My test is significantly lower and my estrogen has not had a propotional decrease.

	Jan 11th, 2024 (8:40 am)	Apr 23, 2024 (9:05am)
Total Test	20 nmol/L (576ng/dl)	12.7 nmol/L (366 ng/dl)
Estradiol	130 pmol/L	113 pmol/L
LH	4.6	4.2
FSH	2.8	3
Free Test	530 pmol/L	Pending

On a subjective level I feel alright. Workouts are decent though I stay sore a bit longer than I used to. Libido is fine but not spectacular. I experience a full range of emotions, but I do stay moody a bit longer than is normal for me.



Not too sure what to make of it to be honest. I will continue to stay the course for now. I have to admit - I am dissapointed, was hoping for improvement with time not a decline.

My previous thread is here: Cold turkey bloodwork - 6 weeks since last shot (576 ng/dl!!!)

 

[Systemlord]

Unfortunately it looks like my numbers have come in a bit worse than before and worse I would have liked.

You just need some context, your levels change every day, if you test your hormones every day, you'll get a different result each time.

Biology doesn't do linear, peaks here, dips there, your hormones don't follow an flat unchanging rhythm. It akin to measuring the wave height as the sets are coming in, constantly changing.

 

[Novaman]

I quit cold turkey after being on TRT for 5 years. My pre TRT total T was as low as 180. While I was on TRT my number was around mid 700’s to just over 1000. I am now 5 years off of TRT and my recent bloodwork showed my total T to be 740.

what do I attribute this to? Lifestyle changes and stress reduction. Right around when I quit TRT I sold my practice (I’m a dentist) and I ”retired” at age 54. I was able to sleep more naturally, taking the time to develop better sleep routines and to wake up when I felt like waking up. I also had more time to focus on my physical fitness- taking more walks in addition to my workout routines. I no longer had the stresses of running a practice or dealing with a hectic schedule. My blood pressure normalized, my energy levels and sense of well being also improved.

i never had ED but what is interesting is that i now will almost always have an erection when I wake up in the middle of the night and in the morning- something that i didn’t used to notice nearly as much. The bad news is that my wife’s libido has waned to near zero at the age of 60.

 

[FunkOdyssey]

The bad news is that my wife’s libido has waned to near zero at the age of 60.

Nothing you can't fix with the right mix of bioidentical hormones. Of course you'll want to do that anyway for the prevention of neurodegenerative disease, osteoporosis, CVD, and frailty. The restoration of youthful sexuality is a nice side benefit though.

 

[Novaman]

Nothing you can't fix with the right mix of bioidentical hormones. Of course you'll want to do that anyway for the prevention of neurodegenerative disease, osteoporosis, CVD, and frailty. The restoration of youthful sexuality is a nice side benefit though.

I have mentioned this to her and her response has been a resounding "No".

 

[Systemlord]

I have mentioned this to her and her response has been a resounding "No".

Wow, that's surprising! That's very selfish of her! Sounds like someone giving up on the relationship.

If the situation was reversed and it was the man without any sexual desire, giving up on a relationship, the women with a strong sexual desires, how do you think that would end?

 

[Gman86]

I have mentioned this to her and her response has been a resounding "No".

Man that’s rough, sorry to hear that man. I’m part of a few women’s HRT fb groups, just to learn about women’s hormones for when my girl might need replacement, and the women over there are living way better lives with optimal hormones, obv. If ur wife would just take a gander at these groups she would see for herself how much better life is for these women once they fix their hormone deficiencies. But sounds like she wouldn’t even be open to that, unfortunately. Again, that sucks man

 

[themud]

My wife’s libido is zero as well 61. Our experience is that every single woman we know that did hormones had horrible problems. One of her best friends is an MD and stopped doing women’s hormone replacement therapy because it’s so difficult to regulate. My 2 cents is that just like men on here that blame everything on too much or too little dose, the women blame any emotion, thought, or nuance in water gain, lethargy, elation on hormones instead of their emotions that they fixate on

 

[Gman86]

My wife’s libido is zero as well 61. Our experience is that every single woman we know that did hormones had horrible problems. One of her best friends is an MD and stopped doing women’s hormone replacement therapy because it’s so difficult to regulate. My 2 cents is that just like men on here that blame everything on too much or too little dose, the women blame any emotion, thought, or nuance in water gain, lethargy, elation on hormones instead of their emotions that they fixate on

Oh man, boy can I relate to women I’m with fixating on their emotions/ problems! Is all women like this? I’m genuinely curious what guys opinions are on that. I feel like it’s all women, but obv I only have the women I’ve been serious with/ are currently serious with, as reference points. But it drives me insane how they get fixated on things and overthink everything and always think about theoretical worst case scenarios, that most likely will never even happen, but they’ll stress/ worry themselves about these theoretical scenarios like crazy. When I’m over here like, if X happens, will deal with it then, but why the fck would I worry/ stress myself out of things that most likely are never even gonna happen? That sounds like hell on earth lol. Sorry, rant over lol. But genuinely curious what other men’s experiences with women have been, in regards to them doing this

But ya, women’s hormones are WAY more complicated to balance, from what I’ve seen. I always recommend trying to resolve hormone imbalances through diet, stress reduction, sleep optimization, exercising (with weights), socializing with close friends/ family as much as possible, first, to list the main things I would always recommend before any person, man or women, hop on HRT. But HRT still has its place, in regards to women. Obv it’s more complicated with women, and I’m sure that results in there being more negative anecdotes with it, than we see with male HRT, but the vast amount of success stories, in regards to women’s HRT, tells us that it does have its place, and I’m sure most women that are doing well on HRT will say that there’s no amount of money they would take to give their exogenous hormones up

Do u and ur wife have any plans to try and get her libido up? Jc. Or are both of u kind of just gonna let it be what it is, and make do the best that u can? No judgment either way obv. And also, I’m jc, does ur wife every discuss that she hates or dislikes not having a libido, or it doesn’t seem to bother her?

 

[Systemlord]

My wife’s libido is zero as well 61. Our experience is that every single woman we know that did hormones had horrible problems. One of her best friends is an MD and stopped doing women’s hormone replacement therapy because it’s so difficult to regulate. My 2 cents is that just like men on here that blame everything on too much or too little dose, the women blame any emotion, thought, or nuance in water gain, lethargy, elation on hormones instead of their emotions that they fixate on

If women wait too long after menopause to start hormone therapy, their body has already changed too much and adapted to the low hormone state, making hormone therapy more challenging.

 

[Mastodont]

If women wait too long after menopause to start hormone therapy, their body has already changed too much and adapted to the low hormone state, making hormone therapy more challenging.

Pretty sure this is often the case with males as well, not just in old age but just the fact that you've been living for 10+ years in the hypogonadal state and burning through your health, no wonder if protocols mess you up at first...

 

[Systemlord]

Our experience is that every single woman we know that did hormones had horrible problems.

All three of my sisters had the same negative experience. They waited to long and didn’t have access to knowledgeable doctors 25+ years ago.

 

[Gman86]

All three of my sisters had the same negative experience. They waited to long and didn’t have access to knowledgeable doctors 25+ years ago.

What did ur sisters end up doing?

 

[Systemlord]

What did ur sisters end up doing?

My oldest sister woke up with facial hair and her new husband didn’t like it.

She was able to reverse it quickly.

Two of my sisters are morbidly obese so maybe that was part of the problem.

They gave up on hormone therapy.

My two other sisters continue to eat unhealthily, eat large portions, and drink alcohol and wine.

They gave up on life a long time ago!

 

[Gman86]

My oldest sister woke up with a beard and her new husband didn’t like it. They gave up on hormone therapy.

I can understand his dismay lol

 

[onetwonine]

updating with free t. Looks like this is a different test than the previous one as its free t, calculated.

Free T (calculated) - 330 pmol/L
albumin - 41 g/L
shbg - 21 nmol/L

 

[EasyCompany]

Blessed is the man whose wife maintains a healthy sexual desire. My wife gave up on having sex about 12 years ago after she experienced post menopausal dryness and pain on intercourse. What’s even worse was she also gave up totally, and I mean totally, on anything even remotely resembling intimacy. I tried talking with her about it but got nowhere. I am not one to take wedding vows lightly, and I don’t believe that her actions give me a license to go out and get some on the side. I also don’t think that divorce is the path I want to go down, as my adult children and young grandchildren would forever have a different relationship with me in a way I wouldn’t like, not to mention the financial beating I would take. So, I’m just stuck with a still strong libido and a raging unfulfilled boner. I just regarding it as just another one of life’s trials that we are supposed to deal with.

 

[Mastodont]

Blessed is the man whose wife maintains a healthy sexual desire. My wife gave up on having sex about 12 years ago after she experienced post menopausal dryness and pain on intercourse. What’s even worse was she also gave up totally, and I mean totally, on anything even remotely resembling intimacy. I tried talking with her about it but got nowhere. I am not one to take wedding vows lightly, and I don’t believe that her actions give me a license to go out and get some on the side. I also don’t think that divorce is the path I want to go down, as my adult children and young grandchildren would forever have a different relationship with me in a way I wouldn’t like, not to mention the financial beating I would take. So, I’m just stuck with a still strong libido and a raging unfulfilled boner. I just regarding it as just another one of life’s trials that we are supposed to deal with.

Don't know if you are looking for encouragement or opinions but i say you are totally justified to have your needs met elsewhere after trying to resolve matters with her, for one she is not fullfilling her wifely duties, sex and at the very least intimacy is a big part of good health and wellbeing. Might be even worse living with someone and being denied intimacy then living by yourself and not be constantly reminded of what could have been. Life is short, stay roommates if it makes you happy, but why not look for someone facing your situation and complement each others lives, or what ever other ways you can think of. I know people whose wifes re-activated after their husbands had their needs met elsewhere, after all it was not cheating after years of dead bedroom, and preselection or competition anxiety also can work as an aphrodisiac for women even though it is the same old dude they deserted.

 

[Gman86]

Blessed is the man whose wife maintains a healthy sexual desire. My wife gave up on having sex about 12 years ago after she experienced post menopausal dryness and pain on intercourse. What’s even worse was she also gave up totally, and I mean totally, on anything even remotely resembling intimacy. I tried talking with her about it but got nowhere. I am not one to take wedding vows lightly, and I don’t believe that her actions give me a license to go out and get some on the side. I also don’t think that divorce is the path I want to go down, as my adult children and young grandchildren would forever have a different relationship with me in a way I wouldn’t like, not to mention the financial beating I would take. So, I’m just stuck with a still strong libido and a raging unfulfilled boner. I just regarding it as just another one of life’s trials that we are supposed to deal with.

Man that’s an extremely extremely tough situation to be in, imo. I truly commend u on ur will power to stay faithful.

Do u think u can maintain this willpower indefinitely? Jc

And is wanting to have sex, but not being able to, on ur mind most of the day, and something u struggle with daily, or have u kind of gotten used to wanting it and not being able to have it, so it doesn’t bother u as much the longer u go without it? Or is it the opposite. The longer u go without it the more u desire to have it? I’m just genuinely curious how someone in ur position feels and deals with this type of situation

So it’s been 12 years since the last time u had sex?

How does ur wife feel about u taking care of urself, in that department? Again, jc about everything

Also, does ur marriage in general just feel like a roommate situation at this point?

 

[Systemlord]

My wife gave up on having sex about 12 years ago after she experienced post menopausal dryness and pain on intercourse. What’s even worse was she also gave up totally, and I mean totally, on anything even remotely resembling intimacy. I tried talking with her about it but got nowhere. I am not one to take wedding vows lightly, and I don’t believe that her actions give me a license to go out and get some on the side.

Your wife took the vows lightly. She gave up a long time ago. I had a brother go 16 years without sex, then finally he cheated and moved on. He was miserable for those 16 years. She never cooked, cleaned or did any of those wife duties.

She was a terrible wife. Sorry to say this but your wife is selfish putting her needs above yours. It's an easy fix with hormone therapy, yet she doesn't care anymore. I wonder what would happen if it were you who was experiencing andropause and your wife had a raging sex drive.

What do you think would happen?

She would think you don't love her anymore this would give her the right to move on.

Sadly, a lot of woman lose their value as they age and stop caring, further devaluing themselves through their inaction. The age faster and experience more health problems as a result of the low hormones.