You understand that I don't tolerate medications, not that I don't want to take them. For me, I've come to understand that there's trauma and none of the therapy I've done has really touched that. Yes, I've developed insights into myself and why my wife is the way she is and why our marriage has always been difficult. Important insights. Now I'm dealing with her gradual decline from dementia. A new layer of trauma and stress.
Back to bipolar. I've also learned, with bipolar, is that if you're not stable on medication, therapy is less effective. I know, too, there are different types and schools of therapy. It's not generic. Practitioners of orgonomy, developed by the late psychiatrist, Dr. Wilhelm Reich, claim success in treating bipolar, as well as Tourette's Syndrome, which I also have. Sometimes I think what I need is to take a break from the marriage and just be somewhere by myself where I can emotionally breathe and settle. I know I can't run away from myself but a therapist who had been 30 years in the Army and in combat, told me that if you stay in combat mode, you'll break. I've been in fight or flight for 16, 17 years. Burning myself out. Exhausted.