Toxic Femininity and Red Pill Discussion

[Dicky]

Now that I know, I can provide this stimulus in a much more masculine way without getting wrapped around the axle myself. I

Pre-emptive drama. Very smart. I'm wondering how you go about doing this. My technique is OK, not the most brilliant. I will start an argument with her, over something that I really could care less about. I let the argument go on for 3-5 back and forths and then I just stop participating and let her have the last word. Then carry on as if we never had the argument. No skin of my back cuzz I never cared about the topic in the first place. But it seems to give the wife a little jolt of drama that keeps her from having to manufacture it. Things are more peaceful this way.

What is your technique?

 

[DixieWrecked]

I have found that the most anxiety inducing behavior that elicits the most loving and cooperative response from a female is controlling the amount of attention I provide to her. I HAVE to have other things going on and this applies even if married. If she feels like you have other options and a life outside her then she will value you and seek your attention. Attention is the currency that women deal with like stated in an earlier post. The thing is, if she ever becomes the soul focus of your life she will eventually despise you even if she says that's what she wants. Taking care of myself and socializing in a way where she knows that you are desired by other women is powerful. I'm not saying rub her face in it, it's a subtle thing. Demonstrating that you are physically and socially desirable.

If she decides to test me in some way I just have to respond accordingly because there are so many different types of tests. Sometimes I ignore. Sometimes I set a boundary. Sometimes I pull back a bit.

For example early on I thought she was working too much for us to get in a groove. My inclination was to talk to her about working less but then I realized that's freaking pathetic. So instead, I started working more. And guess what happened. All of a sudden she thinks I'm working too much and now she decides she needs to work less and cook me dinner and focus more on me. Can you imagine what the result would have been if I asked her to spend more time with me?

 

[DixieWrecked]

In other words. If it's getting stale, pulling your attention away and focusing on other things for a bit will get her anxiety levels up and clamoring for your attention. And she wants it like that despite what she says.

Back during one of the world wars, a guy and a girl were in love. He was drafted. She begged him to not go which obviously was a very common response. Well this one guy decided to "follow his heart" and did not go to war. The relationship only lasted another month. She lost respect for him and fell out of love despite the fact he had done what she asked. He was supposed to be a man and go fight for his country.

 

[Anonymon]

I didn't mean to write that post as advice to you personally, Anonym. Was just piggybacking on what you wrote to further the discussion with the group.

No worries, that’s what I assumed you were doing. To help sum up some of what you said for other guys that could benefit:

Your relationship will remain happy and healthy if your girl feels like you have plenty of other options and despite all that you still chose her and you are the one in the driver’s seat. Which isn’t to say you can’t get comfortable with someone nice and enjoy it and shouldn’t treat them well, but deviating from the former will make her emotionally jump ship in most cases. She’ll rationalize reasons why that make her feel better and are flattering for her to say, but the truth of it’s usually just female mating psychology.

I admittedly screwed up something recently with a hot 22 year old that threw herself at me because I’d gone through some weird shit with someone a month before and was just so unbelievably happy since this girl was pretty perfect for my tastes and lifestyle and I’d just gotten my thyroid situation more under control. She said she loved how kind I was and I kept thinking “no, you don’t, and I should probably pull it back now before I screw this up.” She said it was because of the big age difference between us but I know that wasn’t it. It was her feels because I fumbled the ball. Which is too bad because she was great.

The red pill is something that continually needs swallowing. Sucks but that’s how it is. That doesn’t mean you should be a dick, but appreciate how female psychology actually works, and that men and women are very different. It’s harder because most girls can’t admit things to themselves because it makes them feel bad to say, like that they’d rather have a guy with a lot of money, things like that. Then you talk to them and they’ll say they like this and that, or want this and that, and you have to at times take it in context as an expression of emotion and not take it as something literal that a guy would say. You can never really take too many red pills. Take ‘em till they’re coming out your butt.

 

[TRicker]

This is a good thread, and thought I'd share my experience.
I'm 46, and got married for the first time at age 44, so I'm still a rookie at marriage.
But I dated a lot of women in my bachelor days. A lot. Some relationships lasted years, and some lasted days, and everything in between. In my 20's and early 30's, I dated to have fun, experience different woman, have companionship, and of course for the physical aspect. I started thinking more seriously about settling down (not settling) in my mid 30's, and have been on the majority of dating sites and met women all across the country because I traveled for work and could live anywhere.
In my experience, there are definitely a lot of good natured, innocent women out there looking for only love and happiness. I've talked to, met, and even dated many that were really great people. There are also women out there that are gold diggers, whores, and down-right rotten human beings. The exact same thing goes for guys.
I was just really discerning before choosing someone I would marry, regarding views on life, love, commitment, family, religion/God, politics, etc. Of course it also included character traits of empathy, sharing, caring, willingness to help others, etc.

Dating is definitely harder now with all the social media, constantly wanting attention, showing off, and trying to be hotter and more desired than the next. I think women are more affected by that social media aspect, but there are absolutely a large amount of guys doing the same. It makes it tough, and I feel bad for the younger generations. I will add that I know a lot of women that do not have social media accounts, and could care less about it. They're too busy working on themselves and looking for love.
But my advice for the guys on here looking for the real thing....there are a lot of good women out there, you just have to keep looking and choose carefully.

My old boss told me a long time ago...."It's really very simple, you have to be very picky, and choose wisely the woman you want to be in a foxhole with when things are good, and also when the shit hits the fan...and when you're out of the foxhole, keep your dick in your pants".
I always laughed at this. It may be simplistic, but it makes sense to me.

 

[DixieWrecked]

This is a good thread, and thought I'd share my experience.
I'm 46, and got married for the first time at age 44, so I'm still a rookie at marriage.
But I dated a lot of women in my bachelor days. A lot. Some relationships lasted years, and some lasted days, and everything in between. In my 20's and early 30's, I dated to have fun, experience different woman, have companionship, and of course for the physical aspect. I started thinking more seriously about settling down (not settling) in my mid 30's, and have been on the majority of dating sites and met women all across the country because I traveled for work and could live anywhere.
In my experience, there are definitely a lot of good natured, innocent women out there looking for only love and happiness. I've talked to, met, and even dated many that were really great people. There are also women out there that are gold diggers, whores, and down-right rotten human beings. The exact same thing goes for guys.
I was just really discerning before choosing someone I would marry, regarding views on life, love, commitment, family, religion/God, politics, etc. Of course it also included character traits of empathy, sharing, caring, willingness to help others, etc.

Dating is definitely harder now with all the social media, constantly wanting attention, showing off, and trying to be hotter and more desired than the next. I think women are more affected by that social media aspect, but there are absolutely a large amount of guys doing the same. It makes it tough, and I feel bad for the younger generations. I will add that I know a lot of women that do not have social media accounts, and could care less about it. They're too busy working on themselves and looking for love.
But my advice for the guys on here looking for the real thing....there are a lot of good women out there, you just have to keep looking and choose carefully.

My old boss told me a long time ago...."It's really very simple, you have to be very picky, and choose wisely the woman you want to be in a foxhole with when things are good, and also when the shit hits the fan...and when you're out of the foxhole, keep your dick in your pants".
I always laughed at this. It may be simplistic, but it makes sense to me.

Seems like there are two main components to a successful marriage. Partner selection and maintaining your masculine frame throughout the relationship. So many men select a girl that deep inside they know is big trouble because they may value themselves less than they should, are desperate, or are susceptible to different forms of manipulation like sex or guilt and end up becoming a feminine nervous wreck. If you are the best version of yourself you are less vulnerable to this. Once the correct partner is selected, if she is able to transform you into a pet or a woman, your marriage will hit some very rough patches and most likely eventually end as she no longer sees you as the masculine man she fell for. This is referred to as betasation through a thousand concessions.

I see so many men that have been trained to accept disrespectful behavior from their women and the men have been taught by the woman to endure it. Hell no. As soon as I realized that our society has taught men to be weak pushovers that always believe women, my relationships improved drastically. When women realize you cannot be manipulated they instantly gain respect for you. I am not saying never consider emotions or a female's input, but if you are a kind strong leader, the entire relationship improves.

 

[TRicker]

you are a kind strong leader

I think that is the best summary for a happy relationship!

 

[Dicky]

have found that the most anxiety inducing behavior that elicits the most loving and cooperative response from a female is controlling the amount of attention I provide to her. I HAVE to have other things going on and this applies even if married. If she feels like you have other options and a life outside her then she will value you and seek your attention. Attention is the currency that women deal with like stated in an earlier post. The thing is, if she ever becomes the soul focus of your life she will eventually despise you even if she says that's what she wants.

Spot on. My wife told me that she wanted to get with me because I had lots going on when we met. That I had direction. I fairly regularly had to turn her down for dates cuzz I was either working or studying. All the other dudes had all the time in the world to be available to date her and it kind of turned her off. She would act all sad and dejected when I couldn't meet her. But years later she told me that it was important to her that I wasn't always available.

I agree that we have to keep a bit of this unavailability in marriage as well. I still like to use the pre-emptive drama too. I never get those random bitchy moods from her since I started using the technique.

 

[Anonymon]

Spot on. My wife told me that she wanted to get with me because I had lots going on when we met. That I had direction. I fairly regularly had to turn her down for dates cuzz I was either working or studying. All the other dudes had all the time in the world to be available to date her and it kind of turned her off. She would act all sad and dejected when I couldn't meet her. But years later she told me that it was important to her that I wasn't always available.

I agree that we have to keep a bit of this unavailability in marriage as well. I still like to use the pre-emptive drama too. I never get those random bitchy moods from her since I started using the technique.

As a counter to this, if a girl likes you enough and you work at it, that’ll usually maintain for as long as you do. Although it wasn’t planned, I’ve had a couple of relationships where they all but moved in after a month, and before that kept coming up with excuses to see me daily, if only for a bit. I’m not suggesting people do that but it was actually kind of nice to have them be that available when I needed it. Still kept up with my stuff. In my case it was usually because I had a nicer living situation than them and going to their place to congregate wasn’t an option. Made it easier on me too because I didn’t have to commute. My dog also loved it. I’ve had some relationships where we basically didn’t date but just had sex every day and bummed around and it was kind of nice, though I’d recommend taking them out and doing the date thing at least once a week.

The biggest hits I’ve ever had against me in relationships were always dealing with a health issue or something and them seeing me weak. When I first tried T3 I got pretty emotional and my E2 was really high and I’d cry for no reason during a TV show and shit. Another time I got food poisoning really bad and that was the only time the girl had seen me not looking and acting like super man. Granted in both cases we also had some issues that usually revolved around me not marrying them or them thinking I wouldn’t (I’d have married them both, just wasn’t a good time). Don’t ever cry in front of a girl if it isn’t your dog or family having just died. And even then don’t. They can’t control how it makes them feel, and they’ll deny it, but the reason guys are taught not to cry isn’t because we’re taught to suppress our emotions, but because it’s going to make women subtly dislike us. Then you have the original problem that made your pussy ass cry, and the additional problem of being diminished in the eyes of those you love but that don’t love you in the same way you love them.

 

[Dicky]

The biggest hits I’ve ever had against me in relationships were always dealing with a health issue or something and them seeing me weak. When I first tried T3 I got pretty emotional and my E2 was really high and I’d cry for no reason during a TV show and shit. Another time I got food poisoning really bad and that was the only time the girl had seen me not looking and acting like super man. Granted in both cases we also had some issues that usually revolved around me not marrying them or them thinking I wouldn’t (I’d have married them both, just wasn’t a good time). Don’t ever cry in front of a girl if it isn’t your dog or family having just died. And even then don’t. They can’t control how it makes them feel, and they’ll deny it, but the reason guys are taught not to cry isn’t because we’re taught to suppress our emotions, but because it’s going to make women subtly dislike us. Then you have the original problem that made your pussy ass cry, and the additional problem of being diminished in the eyes of those you love but that don’t love you in the same way you love them.

Oh god yes. My wife gets really cranky any time I get the flu or am otherwise laid up. It works the same way every time I am out of commission. She gets all pissy about nothing and I have to remind her that I will get better. It's only temporary. I'm going to be fine. So yes absolutely. Showing weakness is not recommended.

My in laws were married for 50 some years. They loved each other. yada yada yada. Father in law came down with cancer and they knew he was going to die from it in about 6 months. I was horrified at how terrible mother in law treated him. Just despicable. She would nag him when he was in excruciating pain. She would nag him when he couldn't eat. It was a clinic in how women treat weakness, even in someone they supposedly love.

 

[Anonymon]

Oh god yes. My wife gets really cranky any time I get the flu or am otherwise laid up. It works the same way every time I am out of commission. She gets all pissy about nothing and I have to remind her that I will get better. It's only temporary. I'm going to be fine. So yes absolutely. Showing weakness is not recommended.

My in laws were married for 50 some years. They loved each other. yada yada yada. Father in law came down with cancer and they knew he was going to die from it in about 6 months. I was horrified at how terrible mother in law treated him. Just despicable. She would nag him when he was in excruciating pain. She would nag him when he couldn't eat. It was a clinic in how women treat weakness, even in someone they supposedly love.

I think all women feel that way, some are just more open about it than others. I had an uncle that was married and he got sick. His wife ended up getting a boyfriend and the boyfriend’s dog ended up killing the husband’s dog, which was his best and only remaining real friend.

At this point in my life if I did get sick, I’d probably just pretend to be gone or busy or something and get the hell away from whoever I was with.

 

[DixieWrecked]

Some truth bombs here and so timely. I'm sick right now and my girl is being a great sport about it but I know she's not turned on. The way we usually have sex is she is very submissive to me and she likes me to dominate her. That vibe is essentially killed. There's just no way I could screw her like that after she's been caring for me like I'm a kid. I got to reestablish that primal strength before she would give herself to me the way she wants to.

Kinda sucks having to accept this reality but that's the way it is. I probably should have just taken some time alone to recover and let her miss me despite her plee to stay with me and help.

 

[Anonymon]

Some truth bombs here and so timely. I'm sick right now and my girl is being a great sport about it but I know she's not turned on. The way we usually have sex is she is very submissive to me and she likes me to dominate her. That vibe is essentially killed. There's just no way I could screw her like that after she's been caring for me like I'm a kid. I got to reestablish that primal strength before she would give herself to me the way she wants to.

Kinda sucks having to accept this reality but that's the way it is. I probably should have just taken some time alone to recover and let her miss me despite her plee to stay with me and help.

Being able to take time apart when needed is key. I’ve historically been bad at that and always kind of lived on top of people, but going to stay with family or friends for a bit or something when needed, or if you’re not already living together just not seeing her, is objectively superior when you’re sick or down. For comfort too, better to have friends help with that and never turn to your partner for that kind of support because it’ll come at the cost of your relationship in most cases.

 

[DixieWrecked]

Well, already put this thread into action as we speak. I'm headed to a Dr appointment now and she wanted to tag along. I sent her home and thanked her for caring for me. I told her I wanted her to go enjoy her day. Vibe instantly changed. She begged to stay with me for the day. She was worried someone else is coming to take care of me and I assured her that wasn't the case. She instantly leaned in closer to me and kissed me and sadly looking at me got out of my truck.

Such a simple demonstration of independence and strength. Wild.

 

[bixt]

I told her I wanted her to go enjoy her day. Vibe instantly changed. She begged to stay with me for the day

Yes! Thats the way. You rather have her chasing you, then the other way around. Its a simple thing, but excellent example of how the tables can be turned.

Always being there all the time, and they become bored and are wired in their genes to look for more exciting entertainment.

 

[Anonymon]

Yes! Thats the way. You rather have her chasing you, then the other way around. Its a simple thing, but excellent example of how the tables can be turned.

Always being there all the time, and they become bored and are wired in their genes to look for more exciting entertainment.

I’ve been there for girls all the time by virtue of them just living with me and me working from home, and it still worked, but you have to be in a position to have demonstrable options pass them by frequently to keep them chasing. It’s not something I think most guy’s work situations could support.

We would also go for walks in high traffic areas a lot filled with hot chicks that would stare at us and that helped a lot too. In general if your life is positioned so you pass by interested women frequently and your girl is there or sees that or even just believes that, that helps maintain her affection and attraction. Also helps if you get someone that’s on the younger side, was a late bloomer, or lost weight or something and has some reason to self-evaluate a little lower than they are. You can end up with an 8-10 that still thinks she’s a 4-6 and sees you as a 10 and the best deal of her life. Also helps if you’re the best she’s ever had, which is relatively easy if she’s younger because there’s a finite time span she’s had with anybody at all and if it’s mostly guys her age it’s pretty easy to beat that with shear experience and having your shit together. Statistically unlikely you’d be the best someone in their 30’s ever had unless they were with 1-3 guys before that when younger and then joined a religious commune until you met.

I don’t have anything against older women and plenty of them look as good or better than younger women. In my area often better. But it’s a lot harder to date them and have it be rewarding. Also easier if she’s an immigrant or first generation. Young 20’s immigrants are my preferred dating pool. They see me as some kind of dreamy well off super hero whose dick contains citizenship and it allows them to be their best self in a relationship because in their mind they’d never be able to do any better. I’m not rich, nor a super hero, or even super good looking or anything, but I meet whatever base minimum requirements are to be considered in the top 20% of guys, which really doesn’t take much. Don’t be fat, fill out a T-Shirt, don’t live pay check to pay check, be funny and confident.

 

[DixieWrecked]

This is exactly how you demonstrate you have options without rubbing he face in it.

Your thoughts on women's age are interesting too. Everything you described is why purity has always been attractive to men. Experience on a woman isn't traditionally attractive. Experience on a man conveys ability and knowledge. It's not uncommon for girls in my area to walk around dressed very provocatively just when taking their dog out. It's also not uncommon to have a body count above forty. I have one female friend that told me she was probably passed 100. These girls have no chance of bonding with a man the same way a girl with a body count of 2 does. They are free to live their lives however they want cuz feminism tells them to but when it all blows up in their face at the age of 40 they get real upset. And guess whose fault it is, ooooh no. Not there's. It's men's fault. They all suck.

Less "experienced" women are just more of a pleasure to deal with. Better sex too which is ironic. I went on a first date once and this girl gave me EVERYTHING. Dont get me wrong, I enjoyed it. But it was just a ride. It was shallow fun. But she's wasn't selling an innocent vibe. You don't have to throw the kitchen sink at me to impress me. I'd prefer true passion.

 

[Anonymon]

This is exactly how you demonstrate you have options without rubbing he face in it.

Your thoughts on women's age are interesting too. Everything you described is why purity has always been attractive to men. Experience on a woman isn't traditionally attractive. Experience on a man conveys ability and knowledge. It's not uncommon for girls in my area to walk around dressed very provocatively just when taking their dog out. It's also not uncommon to have a body count above forty. I have one female friend that told me she was probably passed 100. These girls have no chance of bonding with a man the same way a girl with a body count of 2 does. They are free to live their lives however they want cuz feminism tells them to but when it all blows up in their face at the age of 40 they get real upset. And guess whose fault it is, ooooh no. Not there's. It's men's fault. They all suck.

Less "experienced" women are just more of a pleasure to deal with. Better sex too which is ironic. I went on a first date once and this girl gave me EVERYTHING. Dont get me wrong, I enjoyed it. But it was just a ride. It was shallow fun. But she's wasn't selling an innocent vibe. You don't have to throw the kitchen sink at me to impress me. I'd prefer true passion.

I have plenty of female friends around 40 that all want me to date girls their age and tried hooking me up with their friends for like a year and endlessly talked about how younger girls suck. One of the friends is basically a trophy GF to a hyper rich guy, and she’s pretty and has been around a lot. She’s almost left that guy a bunch being angry because they’re not married, and she doesn’t want kids. She’s been cheated on a lot because she’s a party girl and that’s about all there is to her. I always feel weird talking to her about it and encouraging her to stay with her BF because I know she’s not going to do any better and getting a guy to marry you sans kids in this age is a tough sell for anyone, let alone someone in their 40s despite being hot. I know her BF and it feels weird knowing that if he’s smart he will never marry her on top of that because she doesn’t have much to offer him besides sex, and no matter how hot a girl is, someone new is always more enticing at a certain point. She’s not even a good GF to him based on what she’s told me, she mostly just takes and gives a little bit. Not a bad person but doesn’t sound like a good GF to me. All he asks of her is to help take care of 2 dogs in a mansion and even that’s too much. He’s even said he asks almost nothing of her. I encouraged her to try for kids but she wasn’t having it. She’s like a 10 looks wise if you’re into her look and girls I’ve dated initially get jealous that we’re close because she looks like a celebrity type but I just tell them a little about her and her situation and they get it. She’s not a bad person or anything, but she made her bed.

The friend and her BF kept trying to give me advice on getting girls and I always had to keep quiet. When they found out about my last GF that was a hot 22 year old, the friend was very confused. Girl before her was also 22 when I met her. And before her. They were all as mature as my 40 year old friend if not more so. Best sex I’ve had was actually with girls in their 30s and 40s but the sex was still top notch with younger girls. It’s also nice to be able to share that time in someone’s life with them, and they somewhat mold to you a bit as well because in finding themselves they found you and you have a big influence on them. You don’t really have to change much, they just change to fit you. Not that I’d mind growing or changing, but it’s convenient. Them moving in is easy too because they own nothing. It just works.

If I fired up a dating app and there were girls around 30 that seemed like a great fit and we had great chemistry and things logistically made sense, I’d have no problem dating and marrying them. But those kinds of girls don’t usually exist. Some do, but they’re rare. In their 20’s though? Dime a dozen. Also have a chance to be their first big flame, which is always the most intense. Older girls think it’s a looks thing that draws guys to younger girls but it’s not. You do come back to the equation though that there is a used car and a new car of the same brand and type, and the new one’s actually cheaper and more fully featured than the new one. That sucks but that’s the dating market for women. Dating is still bullshit easy for women, but a lot of them have been fed the lie that you can do whatever you want forever and guys will still want you as badly as they did in their youth. Unless you locked one down as a youth, they will not. And they should not.

 

[Seth]

Oh god yes. My wife gets really cranky any time I get the flu or am otherwise laid up. It works the same way every time I am out of commission. She gets all pissy about nothing and I have to remind her that I will get better. It's only temporary. I'm going to be fine. So yes absolutely. Showing weakness is not recommended.

My in laws were married for 50 some years. They loved each other. yada yada yada. Father in law came down with cancer and they knew he was going to die from it in about 6 months. I was horrified at how terrible mother in law treated him. Just despicable. She would nag him when he was in excruciating pain. She would nag him when he couldn't eat. It was a clinic in how women treat weakness, even in someone they supposedly love.

Not the first time I've heard about women doing this to a husband. Really sad

 

[Seth]

This is exactly how you demonstrate you have options without rubbing he face in it.

Your thoughts on women's age are interesting too. Everything you described is why purity has always been attractive to men. Experience on a woman isn't traditionally attractive. Experience on a man conveys ability and knowledge. It's not uncommon for girls in my area to walk around dressed very provocatively just when taking their dog out. It's also not uncommon to have a body count above forty. I have one female friend that told me she was probably passed 100. These girls have no chance of bonding with a man the same way a girl with a body count of 2 does. They are free to live their lives however they want cuz feminism tells them to but when it all blows up in their face at the age of 40 they get real upset. And guess whose fault it is, ooooh no. Not there's. It's men's fault. They all suck.

Less "experienced" women are just more of a pleasure to deal with. Better sex too which is ironic. I went on a first date once and this girl gave me EVERYTHING. Dont get me wrong, I enjoyed it. But it was just a ride. It was shallow fun. But she's wasn't selling an innocent vibe. You don't have to throw the kitchen sink at me to impress me. I'd prefer true passion.

"when it all blows up in their face at the age of 40 they get real upset. And guess whose fault it is, ooooh no. Not there's. It's men's fault." You nailed it.