Low Testosterone saving a marriage ???

[broker]

Just thinking out loud. Im wondering if low T can actually be good for a marriage.
I am not advocating not working out and dieting, quite the contrary. However, low T makes me more calm and also lowers my libido big time. I have a theory which probably pertains to no one but here it is anyway. when guys in their 40’s and 50’s start using T, their libido’s go through the roof and want sex much more than their wives. Some wives are very accomodating and for the most part take care of their husbands. Many however, do not and that leads to many men feeling frustrated and angry. This leads to alot of tension in the marriage. That basically happened to me. I still work out 5x per week though.
Now that my T levels are low, we never fight about sex and dont have that friction we use to have. In fact, sometimes she makes subtle comments about our sex life but i doubt it bothers her that much. Please opine on any of your experiences with this.

 

[Cataceous]

The opposite is sometimes argued: declining testosterone makes men anxious and with the feeling they have to prove themselves, sometimes leading to affairs, etc.

Personally, TRT greatly reduced my anxiety, making things better all around. Mismatched libidos is somewhat of an issue, but it could easily be worse. No question that my marriage would be worse off if I weren't on TRT.

 

[HealthMan]

That can happen indeed. But TRT effects on libido for instance vary a lot. But you have a good point. If TRT happens to make your libido go through the roof and you wife is not in the same mood it can be a big problem. Also if you are very energetic to do other things and she is tired all the time it can be a problem.
I actually told my wife to consider hormone replacement. She is still thinking about it.

 

[fifty]

I know a couple people on trt who started dating 20year olds and abandoned their family. Really

 

[Sean Mosher]

Either both or neither should be optimized hormonally.
Obviously I believe that both should pursue it for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is for health reasons.

 

[CoastWatcher]

I know of a man who, once TRT restored his libido, began to use the services of high-end escorts and utterly destroyed his marriage.

Of course, I know many men who swear TRT enhanced their marriages. I am one of those men.

 

[broker]

I know a few guys who had a mid life crisis after starting T and it destroyed their marriage. When they went off T and the “ high” wore off, they regretted their decision.

 

[Cataceous]

Maybe these mixed anecdotes are just saying that TRT makes you more of what you already are. Guys with inclinations to wander are enabled, but guys who value existing relationships are better able to focus on them.

 

[mooseman109]

Low T caused anxiety and laziness in me, alomg with drop in libido. Once i got on T, almost 6 years ago, those things were rectified. My wife told me she did not know how she was going to cope with me in the low T state. Ao I ma in the T saved my marriage. I am 56

 

[Mountain Man]

Just thinking out loud. Im wondering if low T can actually be good for a marriage.
I am not advocating not working out and dieting, quite the contrary. However, low T makes me more calm and also lowers my libido big time. I have a theory which probably pertains to no one but here it is anyway. when guys in their 40’s and 50’s start using T, their libido’s go through the roof and want sex much more than their wives. Some wives are very accomodating and for the most part take care of their husbands. Many however, do not and that leads to many men feeling frustrated and angry. This leads to alot of tension in the marriage. That basically happened to me. I still work out 5x per week though.
Now that my T levels are low, we never fight about sex and dont have that friction we use to have. In fact, sometimes she makes subtle comments about our sex life but i doubt it bothers her that much. Please opine on any of your experiences with this.

I’d suggest a little better communication with the wife. Discuss and ask her if it bothers her. I know for me there is a range where libido gets a little higher than my wife can accommodate. Fortunately, she has the desire but sometimes not the endurance. After 32 years together, I can be satisfied with her even if I don’t orgasm. For us, the issue is not the amount of sex, but how long she can last during penetration. While I was never a two pump chump, 5 minutes was about the average. Today at 65, 20 minutes is an off night and we have had nights where penetration is 45 minutes or more. Not BS because my wife has been timing it to see if she can improve to accommodate me.

I suggest communication with wives and partners. If you become orgasm focused, then high testosterone can be a problem. If you are looking for greater intimacy with your partner and have realistic expectations, then higher testosterone can be a blessing for the relationship, at least it is for me. Trust me, at 65 and 32 years with my wife, I am in hog heaven...no pun intended.

 

[Tommy Wall]

Well it high libido is a problem due to higher testo how about just lower the dose until you find the best spot to be in. For sure high testosteron made me a dirty old man looking at women half my age lol and for sure my wish to have more sex than before TRT is the fact..

 

[Vince Carter]

The same thing was/is/can be said for Viagra use, not just TRT. Or a woman getting breast implants. Or going on hormone therapy's.

Some thing's just expose the already broken nature of people, or the broken, dysfunctional relationships that they're in.

 

[Vince]

Sex is important to women’s health. It revs up metabolism and may boost the immune system. Frequent sexual intercourse is associated with reduced heart attack risk. It can help the vagina stay lubricated, elastic, and healthy. And it’s fun.

If it’s important to you, you should be able to enjoy sex well into your older years. And that’s something worth talking about.

For women, sexuality changes with age but doesn't disappear- Harvard Health Blog

 

[Tommy Wall]

I have read many times that women in long term relationship do lose a lot of libido and it is a problem for them and their partner. Women feel stressed about having a sex demanding man.
It just a normal fenomen unfortunately. Its like if you are not thirsty you don´t feel like drinking water.

 

[CSI007]

My low T was causing problems. The problem was my low T and E2 were causing me to have wild mood swings, memory loss among other things. I was snapping at my kids and my wife over little things and she was really getting upset over it.

 

[Systemlord]

I have read many times that women in long term relationship do lose a lot of libido and it is a problem for them and their partner. Women feel stressed about having a sex demanding man.
It just a normal fenomen unfortunately. Its like if you are not thirsty you don´t feel like drinking water.

I wonder how many women out there have low T, we know the number for men with low T is conservative and probably more than 35% and it will just get worse.

 

[cappy]

My TRT journey began when my girl, who has an exceptionally high sex drive, got frustrated with me because my libido fell off.

A year later, we're matched again. It's been great! But I have told her that if she wasn't in the picture, my libido would be unmanageable and frustrating. It's a good thing I have her.

An interesting observation: now when I finish in her, the following day she gets a libido boost. Sometimes she has trouble concentrating at work because she's thinking about sex. Unfortunately, I can't say that the TRT had an effect on this, as I always pulled out before, but I wonder how much T in semen is absorbed transvaginally.

 

[Mrs. Robinson]

I can only speak from my experience here, but as the wife of a low T man, my answer is no, it can be devastating to a marriage! Mismatched drives are a stressor regardless which partner has the higher drive. I don’t consider myself especially high drive (every 2-3 days I’m happy) but lack of sex has always been the main point of contention in an otherwise very happy marriage. We’re just in our 20’s yet, most women don’t hit their sexual prime until mid 30’s or so, I can’t imagine any scenario where a low libido is a good thing long term.

“In fact, sometimes she makes subtle comments about our sex life but i doubt it bothers her that much.”

Don’t assume, ask her! You may be surprised. I’m part of a fb group with over 500 higher drive wives, and it bothers the heck out of us. Women crave sex emotionally as well, not just physically.

 

[Starplex]

Okay I'll chime in. Married 21 years and never cheated. Even turned it down twice from other girls who offered it. When my T was low so was my Libido. So once every 1.5 weeks or so was not a big deal. She was very content with that. Much earlier in the marriage we were the typical 3 times a week frequency. Now being on TRT my Libido is back through the roof. 4 years now on TRT. And from the original post I agree this has made it difficult on the marriage. We've talked and it and she tries but it's just not a priority for her. I've even tried to make it more special with the soft touching and longer foreplay, quality time together, etc and it has gotten much much better, but still not where I want to be. This has made it difficult because now there are other females wanting to show me a lot of attention. So the struggle is very real.

 

[Tommy Wall]

Starplex a copy of my situation. Its hard to have different drives and there is no whish from the other part to discuss it as a problem. I do understand man are unfaithful even though is not a good option.