Hey everyone, please bear with my long story! I messed up big time and I'm in dire need of help!!!
I was prescribed testosterone cypionate (100mg/week, split into daily shots) in July 2020 after a couple of tests confirmed low TT levels (approx 200 ng/dL). This brought my TT up to 800 - 900 ng/dL, sensitive E2 to 45 pg/mL . I experienced a boost in confidence, energy levels and mood, but not much improvement in libido (which I realized later was due to a heavy daily intake of DHT inhibiting pumpkin seeds).
I increased my intake to 150mg/week but still didn't experience any changes to libido. Out of desperation, I cluelessly started taking massive amounts of testosterone around Nov 2020 (500 to 700 ng/dL for about 4 weeks), which obviously helped with libido but the accompanying increase in E2 caused me severe acne, painful nipples, fatigue, mild depression etc. Instead of waiting it out, I got some UGL aromasin and took 25mg for a couple of weeks but continued feeling the same way. I raised that to 50mg and still didn't feel any better. I ended up taking 1 pill a day till March 2021 and it was still the same!!! I should've gotten labs at this point but I foolishly continued popping aromasin like candy based on how I was feeling. Around mid March 2021, I finally asked my doctor for arimidex (thinking the UGL aromasin was bunk) and took about 0.5mg a day for 4 weeks before I felt the high E2 symptoms subsiding. At this point, I decided to get tests and sure enough, my E2 was undetectable.
My mood rapidly declined and I started experiencing panic attacks and severely depressive thoughts. The hair on my scalp shrank and changed texture from straight to curly. Strangely, I was unable to tolerate perfumes/colognes, any foods rich in phytoestrogens (soy, flax etc) as they seemed to aggravate the low E2 symptoms! My E2 finally recovered to ~50pg/mL in July 2021 (4 months after recording undetectable levels), but I still continued to experience low E2 symptoms from the foods and perfumes (despite no changes in actual E2 levels). I never quite got back to how I felt before April 2021. The only respite I had was when I used a friend's leftover hcg back in June 2021, but that only lasted 2 weeks. I couldn't get access to hcg because I live in California and my doctor only prescribes from empower pharmacy.
I decided to switch to Clomid (12.5mg daily) in Dec 2021 after waiting a week from my last cypionate shot. It worked very well for about 10 days (I even experienced a lot of my low E2 symptoms improve!), but every pill after that caused genital numbness, irritability and fatigue. I also became very emotional on clomid and soon enough, started seeing floaters as well.
Around Jan 2022, I switched back to testosterone cypionate 3 weeks after starting clomid. Unfortunately, using clomid seems to have aggravated some of my old low E2 symptoms. I ceased clomid 6 months ago but even now, consuming soy/flax etc or using perfumes makes me overly emotional and triggers several low E2 symptoms (such as hopelessness, horrible crying bouts) which I thought had resolved before switching to clomid. I still have floaters in my eyes. Things are improving, but a lot slower than my E2 crash back in 2021.
At this point, I'm not sure how much longer I can sit around waiting to fully recover. It might be years at this rate. I'm contemplating stopping everything in the hopes of recovering my old hypogonadal levels. I know it isn't the most optimal solution, but my reasoning is that since I felt almost completely recovered while using the hcg in June last year, its possible that testicular aromatization isn't as easily affected by the foods and perfumes etc as peripheral aromatization. So maybe recovering gonadal function could fix most of my low E2 symptoms?
I'm reluctant to trying SERMs to restart HPTA given the permanent floaters in my eyes and considering how clomid aggravated a lot of my old low E2 symptoms. Any ideas on what I can do to recover HPTA function? Would you recommend going cold turkey? Appreciate the help!
I was prescribed testosterone cypionate (100mg/week, split into daily shots) in July 2020 after a couple of tests confirmed low TT levels (approx 200 ng/dL). This brought my TT up to 800 - 900 ng/dL, sensitive E2 to 45 pg/mL . I experienced a boost in confidence, energy levels and mood, but not much improvement in libido (which I realized later was due to a heavy daily intake of DHT inhibiting pumpkin seeds).
I increased my intake to 150mg/week but still didn't experience any changes to libido. Out of desperation, I cluelessly started taking massive amounts of testosterone around Nov 2020 (500 to 700 ng/dL for about 4 weeks), which obviously helped with libido but the accompanying increase in E2 caused me severe acne, painful nipples, fatigue, mild depression etc. Instead of waiting it out, I got some UGL aromasin and took 25mg for a couple of weeks but continued feeling the same way. I raised that to 50mg and still didn't feel any better. I ended up taking 1 pill a day till March 2021 and it was still the same!!! I should've gotten labs at this point but I foolishly continued popping aromasin like candy based on how I was feeling. Around mid March 2021, I finally asked my doctor for arimidex (thinking the UGL aromasin was bunk) and took about 0.5mg a day for 4 weeks before I felt the high E2 symptoms subsiding. At this point, I decided to get tests and sure enough, my E2 was undetectable.
My mood rapidly declined and I started experiencing panic attacks and severely depressive thoughts. The hair on my scalp shrank and changed texture from straight to curly. Strangely, I was unable to tolerate perfumes/colognes, any foods rich in phytoestrogens (soy, flax etc) as they seemed to aggravate the low E2 symptoms! My E2 finally recovered to ~50pg/mL in July 2021 (4 months after recording undetectable levels), but I still continued to experience low E2 symptoms from the foods and perfumes (despite no changes in actual E2 levels). I never quite got back to how I felt before April 2021. The only respite I had was when I used a friend's leftover hcg back in June 2021, but that only lasted 2 weeks. I couldn't get access to hcg because I live in California and my doctor only prescribes from empower pharmacy.
I decided to switch to Clomid (12.5mg daily) in Dec 2021 after waiting a week from my last cypionate shot. It worked very well for about 10 days (I even experienced a lot of my low E2 symptoms improve!), but every pill after that caused genital numbness, irritability and fatigue. I also became very emotional on clomid and soon enough, started seeing floaters as well.
Around Jan 2022, I switched back to testosterone cypionate 3 weeks after starting clomid. Unfortunately, using clomid seems to have aggravated some of my old low E2 symptoms. I ceased clomid 6 months ago but even now, consuming soy/flax etc or using perfumes makes me overly emotional and triggers several low E2 symptoms (such as hopelessness, horrible crying bouts) which I thought had resolved before switching to clomid. I still have floaters in my eyes. Things are improving, but a lot slower than my E2 crash back in 2021.
At this point, I'm not sure how much longer I can sit around waiting to fully recover. It might be years at this rate. I'm contemplating stopping everything in the hopes of recovering my old hypogonadal levels. I know it isn't the most optimal solution, but my reasoning is that since I felt almost completely recovered while using the hcg in June last year, its possible that testicular aromatization isn't as easily affected by the foods and perfumes etc as peripheral aromatization. So maybe recovering gonadal function could fix most of my low E2 symptoms?
I'm reluctant to trying SERMs to restart HPTA given the permanent floaters in my eyes and considering how clomid aggravated a lot of my old low E2 symptoms. Any ideas on what I can do to recover HPTA function? Would you recommend going cold turkey? Appreciate the help!